Fearless Authenticity

basejumpWe were talking about Sunday school experiences in our childhood. One person contributed that he didn’t spend much time in Sunday school because he was often kicked out. There’s nothing like somebody else’s story to help trigger memories of your own…

As a child, I was kicked out of everything: school, music groups, kids clubs, Sunday school. You name it. The reason? I lived out of my truth regardless the cost. In Christian school we were awarded a ‘character trait’ poster at the end of every year. I got ones like ‘fearless’ and ‘thorough’. I can still remember the sound of the entire audience laughing when they called mine out. I guess you could say I had a reputation.  Nonetheless, the price was high in the 80’s when corporeal punishment still existed in schools and churches. A much worse fate awaited me at home. (trigger warning)

I grew up in a family where babies were beaten for crying or waking up at the wrong times and children were dragged out of their beds in the middle of the night for violent reasons. For me the solution was simple, learn to dissociate from the body and live my truth anyway. The result was a lot of hiding under the basement stairs and spending time in the forest. It was in those places where I would meet Jesus and experience Holy Spirit in ways that were more real than anything I encountered in the physical world.

As the years progressed, I learned to live with the incongruency of outer compliance because I finally caught on that my chances of survival were greater if I kept my soul hidden. I’ve never disconnected from Holy Spirit. Jesus has always been a faithful companion and guide. The pure, unconditional love and intimacy I’ve experienced with the Father is not worthy of words.

My biggest challenge in adulthood has been returning back to that place of complete and wild abandon in my spirit. It’s there. I feel it in the forest, on my mountain bike or with people I trust deeply. But much of the time I withhold. A lot. I don’t want to be perceived as rebellious or a heretic or worse. I am not fearless like I once was.

The western world, with all its controlling institutions, has not made space for people like myself…and perhaps you also. Maybe you’ve felt it though; a growing dissatisfaction amongst the intuitive masses. Many of us are no longer content with just wandering in the forests or hiding behind our blogs.

It’s not easy going into the places that make me feel uncomfortable, the places where I’m constantly confronted by the battle between my ego and my spirit. While I’m fairly good at helping others with their issues, I really don’t know how to share my true self with people that live out of a different paradigm than I do.

The path I’m on is certainly not easy, but the way for my children is somewhat easier. My kids have always had the freedom to live from their truth in my home. It might seem unconventional and it’s definitely anti-institutional, but we’ve made it a priority that they always lead with their human spirits and tune into Holy Spirit. Their egos come up with some pretty interesting stuff too, but how can you learn to distinguish between the two if you aren’t given the freedom to make mistakes in a safe environment?

Holy Spirit works in weird ways that I’m quick to judge as ‘wrong’, especially in other people’s lives. Keeping my mouth shut and allowing Spirit to do its thing in others, and even more so in myself, is a lesson I’m doomed to repeat. God grant us grace to love and forgive ourselves that we might be empowered to do the same for others.

Sound

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Highly Sensitive

abstractartI’m a highly sensitive person. I see things other people don’t. I hear the words that aren’t spoken and I feel the emotions people try so hard to conceal. Maybe you can relate?

For me, being highly sensitive is an artifact of an extremely abusive upbringing. These intuitive skills essentially kept me alive in an environment that surely would’ve been the death of me, literally. Today I consider them to be a gift.

Well, they’re mostly a gift. I say this because one of the side effects of being highly sensitive is having a propensity to being easily overwhelmed. It’s called sensory overwhelm. Maybe you can relate?

Overwhelm

The overwhelm comes from my logical brain trying to make sense of all the information that I’m collecting in both the physical and ethyrical realms. This in itself is a faulty modality for processing information, but that’s the structure that our left-brained society has imposed on us through its institutional control of our daily lives.

Whoa – did you just hear that?! It’s true, most highly sensitive people perceive themselves as victims of ‘the system’. And they are. The reason why is because they keep going back to ‘the system’ to find healing. They can’t be faulted for that, after all, that is exactly what we’ve been propagandized to believe will ‘fix’ us.

I have yet to meet even one deeply wounded person who has found complete healing, wholeness and abundance through the ‘fixing’ structures of society be they religion, education, medicine or mental health. I do, however, know a lot of people who’ve become worse and they’ve spent good money attaining it (myself included).

So, what’s the answer? Well, for starters, you don’t need to make sense of all you are sensing! Leave it to your soul or human spirit to sort that out. It will do a magnificent job of this if you give it a creative outlet or go for a walk in nature. Most importantly, ask Holy Spirit to be Present with you in this. Holy Spirit transcends your brain altogether, keeping things simple!

Next, you have to deprogram your thought system. The human brain is a tool for the use of the mind. It’s highly pliant and compliant. As you switch out old belief systems and vigilantly apply new ones, the synapses will literally rewire themselves and eventually create entirely new ways of being. Nearly every other cell in your body dies and is replaced within a 2 year cycle. Do you know what this means? It means that you have the power to become a physically ‘new’ person!

As you restructure your mind and body you open up new and unobstructed avenues for Divine creativity to begin manifesting miracles in your life daily. Miracles are a transformation of the mind and healing is the result. The Bible has so many passages that talk about the importance of transforming your mind. It’s plain and its obvious and yet 99% of people who know this don’t apply it to their life! If churches would teach this one thing well, all other truth and healing would naturally manifest in its adherent’s lives.

The sad truth is that most churches don’t teach this well and you know why…it’s called ‘institutionalized religion’. That’s right, it’s one of those left-brained societal structures.

I go to church. I listen to the preacher. I eat the meat and spit out the bones. I walk in miracles daily and invite anyone who wishes, to join me in the Divine Art of Transformation of the Mind.

May you be blessed to be a blessing!